new iPods, iPhones, iOS

[Toilet of Sadness]

Apple press conference day. The highlights:

• a new price-reduced iPod Nano that's aped android's 1 million clocks feature
• a new iPod touch (that's actually not any different than the last gen) that's shipping with the new iOS
• iOS5 releases on Oct 12th with a newly-announced worthless card feature and all the other previously announced features
• iPhone4S, which is the iPhone 4 but includes the iPad2 CPU/GPU, a new antenna design, massively upgraded camera, and siri, your new robut assistant/girlfriend. Phone releases Oct 14th.
• Also iPhones are now available on Sprint.

Now time for MA/Wargazm/daoist/et. al. to explain why only idiots would care about this shit and why consumers should spend their money on an android. Also time for Thinine to cream his pants at his new god phone.

[Gretyl]

Thank you for saving Thinine the trouble.

[Toilet of Sadness]

I do what I can. I'm down for the 4S, since Verizon's offering me an early upgrade from the 4.

[Gretyl]

The "card feature" is actually just another app made by Apple. It's the new iCards.

I believe "Find My Family" (or Friends & Family, the liveblogs weren't entirely clear) is new as well.

[Jobu]

I approve of this apple bashing

[Gretyl]

I'm down for the 4S

I am as well. I plan to stick with AT&T when I preorder my 64-gig this Friday.

[Wargazm]

Now time for MA/Wargazm/daoist/et. al. to explain why only idiots would care about this shit and why consumers should spend their money on an android.

hey now, that's not really fair. Just because I got sick of my iPhone (and iTunes, and Apple in general) doesn't mean I think it's a terrible option for everybody.

This announcement was super boring though. faster, better camera. duh.

The personal assistant stuff is really cool tech, but honestly I'd feel like an idiot ordering my phone around so I'd probably never use the feature.

[Wargazm]

no LTE is a huge fail, by the way.

[Toilet of Sadness]

I approve of this apple bashing

this is an equal opportunity mobile OS bashing thread. Apple's press conference is just the background for this particular nerd slapfight.

[Toilet of Sadness]

no LTE is a huge fail, by the way.

Huge to the bolded. No LTE is not really surprising given Apple. LTE phones get shit battery life, which apple doesn't tolerate. It probably decreased battery life significantly, and will probably be the big new addition for next year.

[Gretyl]

sounds like ToS was on the mark after all

[Gretyl]

The personal assistant stuff is really cool tech, but honestly I'd feel like an idiot ordering my phone around so I'd probably never use the feature.

I already use the shit out of the existing voice control features for phone & music when driving or biking. Hands-free without additional hardware is pretty great in hand-restricted contexts.

[Wargazm]

No LTE is not really surprising given Apple.

nope, not surprising. It took them a while to get on the 3G train too. Still really lame.

LTE phones get shit battery life...will probably be the big new addition for next year.

I think you're right that it will be the big new addition for next year, but I guess I don't see how LTE will stop being a battery-drainer in a year's time. If there something you know that I don't about upcoming battery technologies or improvements to LTE?

Or maybe they're just banking on decreasing the size of other components in a year's time so they can fit a bigger battery in there.

[Wargazm]

The personal assistant stuff is really cool tech, but honestly I'd feel like an idiot ordering my phone around so I'd probably never use the feature.

I already use the shit out of the existing voice control features for phone & music when driving or biking. Hands-free without additional hardware is pretty great in hand-restricted contexts.

Yeah, I can see it being useful...I just would feel like an idiot doing it.

I'm ok with saying "call xxx", but "find me a great greek restaurant in Minneapolis, iPhone!" or "Hey iPhone, do I need an umbrella today?" is a bit much.

[Wargazm]

Android voice control can be really shitty, by the way. No matter how many times I say "call katie" (my wife, for those that don't know), it does a search for "call K T" and gives me the number to some fucking store somewhere.

[Toilet of Sadness]

No LTE is not really surprising given Apple.

nope, not surprising. It took them a while to get on the 3G train too. Still really lame.

iPhone3G was the second iPhone produced...so it wasn't a while?

Or maybe they're just banking on decreasing the size of other components in a year's time so they can fit a bigger battery in there.

Bingo, bango. That's the apple way. shrink everything else for more battery.

[Wargazm]

I'm sure not having LTE won't hurt their sales or their reputation with their fans. I'm just speaking for myself. After being on LTE for a few months, I have come to realize that what makes a smartphone feel fast is the speed of your internet connection, not the speed of your processor or any other nonsense.

Of course, Apple is trying to position themselves as a game machine, so it makes sense they'd worry more about that than net connection. One more reason why I'm just not an iPhone customer...I don't care about having a PS3 in my pocket, I'd rather have LTE's faster network connection.

[MarkK]

how fast is your lte though?

[Wargazm]

I just got 12 mbps using the speedtest.net app. I'm at my desk, which is usually kind of a crappy reception place.

I've gotten as high as the mid 30s before. Of course, I've gotten as low as 1.5 mbps. But throwing out the super crazy highs and the shitty lows I'd say a consistent real-world number is between 12 and 17 mbps.

it's fast enough for the mobile web (meaning mobile-optimized sites) to be nearly instantaneous. YouTube videos at standard def never buffer, and higher def very rarely buffer. Google Maps is like butter.

[Gretyl]

That's the apple way. shrink everything else for more battery.

penis--

[Talenos]

Browsing the LTE on my current gen iPhone does suck. They should fix that.

[Toilet of Sadness]

Also, if any of you droogs find a link to iOS5 GM out there, please to post a link to it here.

[Toilet of Sadness]

Browsing the LTE on my current gen iPhone does suck. They should fix that.

You could try my personal ST web app for better LTE browsing.

[Jobu]

Android voice control can be really shitty, by the way. No matter how many times I say "call katie" (my wife, for those that don't know), it does a search for "call K T" and gives me the number to some fucking store somewhere.

I haven't found any phone that has nailed this yet. Blackberry's is fucking dense, and I've about given up trying to use Android's Google navigation by voice because it never gets even close or claims it can't understand me.

[Wargazm]

Microsoft has done a fantastic job with Sync. That never has any trouble understanding me.

[Talenos]

My iPhone seems to be pretty spot on.

[Jobu]

Microsoft has done a fantastic job with Sync. That never has any trouble understanding me.

Though I haven't tried Sync, I have used on-star a little and didn't have any problems. Not sure why the difference.

[Gretyl]

I can't seem to play music by !!!, but besides that, I have no complaints.

[Thinine]

Apparently AT&T won't let me upgrade with my contract until Nov. 25. Last year I was able to do it right when the 4 came out, which was almost exactly a year since my 2 year contract started with the 3GS. Perhaps they're delaying upgraders to prevent total network meltdown on the 14th. No LTE but I believe HSDPA+ is considered "4G". Camera enhancements look great too.

[Talenos]

Last year didn't they do a 6 month upgrade waiver? That's probably why you're not eligible.

[Thinine]

Even with the additional six months I wouldn't have normally qualified. And November is 17 months from my renewal in June. I'm not real disappointed though.

[nippletwister]

*really

[Gretyl]

I'm real proud of you, Thinine.

[nippletwister]

*really

[Toilet of Sadness]

Of course, Apple is trying to position themselves as a game machine, so it makes sense they'd worry more about that than net connection. One more reason why I'm just not an iPhone customer...I don't care about having a PS3 in my pocket, I'd rather have LTE's faster network connection.

But you understand why things are this way, right? It's the fundamental difference in Apple's and Google's business models. One company wants to provide an entertainment consumption device (because Apple makes money off of application/movie/music sales) while the other wants to jam as many ads as fast as possible in your eyeballs (because that's the only place Google makes money off of Android).

[Gretyl]

One company wants to provide an entertainment consumption device (because Apple makes money off of application/movie/music sales)

you're thinking of Amazon if you talk about content-driven business models

Apple runs their content business near break-even and makes 90% of their money on device sales.

[nippletwister]

That's what iTunes is?

[MarcusAurelius]

only idiots would care about this shit and consumers should spend their money on an android.

that was easy

[MarcusAurelius]

Apparently AT&T won't let me upgrade with my contract until Nov. 25. Last year I was able to do it right when the 4 came out, which was almost exactly a year since my 2 year contract started with the 3GS. Perhaps they're delaying upgraders to prevent total network meltdown on the 14th. No LTE but I believe HSDPA+ is considered "4G". Camera enhancements look great too.

my atrix is on hsdpa+ whatever. it's still at&t, spotty coverage, and pretty goddam slow.

[Wargazm]

Of course, Apple is trying to position themselves as a game machine, so it makes sense they'd worry more about that than net connection. One more reason why I'm just not an iPhone customer...I don't care about having a PS3 in my pocket, I'd rather have LTE's faster network connection.

But you understand why things are this way, right? It's the fundamental difference in Apple's and Google's business models. One company wants to provide an entertainment consumption device (because Apple makes money off of application/movie/music sales) while the other wants to jam as many ads as fast as possible in your eyeballs (because that's the only place Google makes money off of Android).

Of course I understand. Though with them getting into streaming big-time, slower networks are going to start becoming a problem.

I don't get where gretyl says all that stuff is near-break even. Weren't they bragging today about paying out 3 billion dollars to developers? And they give 70% of sales to devs, right? Which would mean they've pulled down ~1.3 billion in app sales alone? I can't imagine the infrastructure for all those app sales, and marketing, and any of all that is anywhere close to 1.3 billion, and you're not even talking about music and movie sales at that point.

[Gretyl]

That's what iTunes is?

iTunes only recently started pulling in over a billion dollars a year of operating margin for Apple (revenue minus what is paid to content owners). Apple recorded over 25 billion dollars in profit last year. iTunes is crucial strategically, but not a significant profit source.

[Gretyl]

Weren't they bragging today about paying out 3 billion dollars to developers? And they give 70% of sales to devs, right? Which would mean they've pulled down ~1.3 billion in app sales alone? I can't imagine the infrastructure for all those app sales, and marketing, and any of all that is anywhere close to 1.3 billion, and you're not even talking about music and movie sales at that point.

That's since the inception of the app store in 2008 and included in the claim of "over a billion a year in operating margin".

[Gretyl]

To claim otherwise, you'd have to refute this back of the envelope calculation for fall 2010 from my earlier link:

This discussion excludes video sales, rentals, book sales as we don’t have solid histories for these product lines. However, we can do a spot check on the cumulative totals:

• 450 million TV episodes downloaded implies $1 billion in sales.
• 100 million movies downloaded probably adds at least another $1 billion
• 35 million books adds another 500 million.
• Compare with 11.7 billion songs at ASP of $1 for about $12 billion in song sales and 6.5 billion apps at ASP of $0.29 or about $1.9 billion.

iTMS content downloads have generated $16.4 billion in sales to date.

Cumulative since 2003, plus that $4.3B for apps. Not Apple's money maker.

[Wargazm]

I wouldn't call any of that "near breaking even."

[Gretyl]

Less than 5% of profits isn't enough to "base the business on", which is all I was trying to clarify about Apple's business model.

[Wargazm]

gotcha.

[Gretyl]

Talk to Siri as you would to a person. Say something like “Tell my wife I’m running late.” “Remind me to call the vet.” “Any good burger joints around here?” And Siri answers you. It does what you say and finds the information you need. And then it hits you.

I deserve abuse.

[Jobu]

Does it spank you like the naughty girl you are?

[Gretyl]

ask me again next Friday

[MarcusAurelius]

Please Siri, I need some more.

[nippletwister]

Siri, I've been naughty.

[Turbo]

Thank you, Siri, may I have another?

[Gretyl]

new phone ordered, yes I'm normally up this early

went white with a red case, so I'll nickname it my AIDS phone

[Gretyl]

until it gives me Jobs' cancer

[Reagraham Lincool]

until it gives me Jobs' cancer

Whatever you do, don't hold the phone wrong.

[Toilet of Sadness]

new phone ordered, yes I'm normally up this early

went white with a red case, so I'll nickname it my AIDS phone

I can't order my phone yet, since Apple's site reports that my upgrade pricing doesn't kick in until Oct 10. So I might as well just walk in next Friday and fight whatever crowd shows up at the Verizon store.

[Gretyl]

iOS 5 hits tomorrow. Have I already lost the bet?

[MarkK]

already updated my itoons in antici....pation

[Gretyl]

Hey Wargazm,

You might wonder, Hey, don’t you feel like a jerk walking around the city talking to your phone? But here’s the thing: Siri, by default, kicks in when you hold the iPhone up to your ear, so you can talk to it and it looks like you’re on a phone call.

They thought about your concern. I like that attention to detail.

[MarcusAurelius]

iOS 5 hits tomorrow. Have I already lost the bet?

i think you're fucked

[MarcusAurelius]

Hey Wargazm,

You might wonder, Hey, don’t you feel like a jerk walking around the city talking to your phone? But here’s the thing: Siri, by default, kicks in when you hold the iPhone up to your ear, so you can talk to it and it looks like you’re on a phone call.

They thought about your concern. I like that attention to detail.

holy shit, they figured out that you can hold a phone up to your ear and the microphone on it can hear what you say? steve jobs invented everything!

[Gretyl]

If you're that impressed, you must be retarded.

[MarcusAurelius]

[Wargazm]

Hey Wargazm,

You might wonder, Hey, don’t you feel like a jerk walking around the city talking to your phone? But here’s the thing: Siri, by default, kicks in when you hold the iPhone up to your ear, so you can talk to it and it looks like you’re on a phone call.

They thought about your concern. I like that attention to detail.

yeah, that's cool.

[walk around and drink]

I can't seem to play music by !!!, but besides that, I have no complaints.

this actually sounds like a plus.