The New New daoist super happy fun dating thread

[daoist]

No, that's not what I tell myself. I tell myself

Oh I'm pretty sure we don't mesh well enough to date.

[fiveSD]

Despite having the common pool of experiences to draw upon for humor, most of it flies over her head, and she seems to get personally offended at the drop of a hat.

This seems to apply to a lot of girls you try to date. You might want to spend some time trying to figure out why that is.

they can accept him for who he is and if not, they're not good enough for the likes of him. that's what he tells himself anyway.

Isn't this the phenomena commonly referred to as "settling"?

[themadninja]

I wouldn't think so...

[Talenos]

No, that's not what I tell myself. I tell myself

Oh I'm pretty sure we don't mesh well enough to date.

Well yeah, you didn't mesh well because she doesn't appear to have feelings for you at all.

[daoist]

...yeah, so?

[daoist]

Saw an interesting girl on match.com.

You have to pay to email people on match.com.

Googling her username provided her name easily; she has a twitter account with her real name on it, first result.

How bad do you guys think it would be to message her on twitter about her match.com dating profile?

[nippletwister]

Um. Sorta stalkerish. I dunno.

[The Jedi Master]

I wouldn't do it if I were you. You don't want her thinking you did a full background check on her before even messaging her.

Two reasons this would be bad:

1) The 'creepy' factor. Regardless of how easy that information was to acquire. At best it'd make you seem too cheap to use the provided interface.

2) Even if she doesn't find it creepy, it would show her that you went to a lot of effort to just say hi, which would set a bad precedent of expectation.

[daoist]

Another idea: According to her facebook account we've got several friends in common. Could I network through them?

[nippletwister]

Yes. the Facebook thing. Or at least work it in.

Say you say her on match.com, but then noticed her on facebook too and decided to say hi.

Much less creepy.

[nippletwister]

...I guess in DSM and Ames (which are you in...DSM or Ames?) you're bound to be only a few degrees from anybody.

[daoist]

Both, actually.

[mrchonkie]

No, that's not what I tell myself. I tell myself

Oh I'm pretty sure we don't mesh well enough to date.

before you make the off color smart joke, use a benign smart joke like a lame philosophy pun. if they get it, then the internet prostitute joke may fly, if they don't, switch to a knock knock joke, or go with the prostitute joke and head for the jugular right after.

[nippletwister]

jugular lol

[daoist]

I get the distinct impression that our mutual friend has no interest in introducing us. So on to the next lady.

[nippletwister]

bummer dude. oh well. there's always one more.

[Agent Smith]

Um. Sorta stalkerish. I dunno.

Not sorta stalkerish, that IS what a stalker would do!

[daoist]

bullshit. If you don't do any research on someone you're considering meeting, you're insane.

[Charlie Foxtrot]

You haven't considered meeting her. You haven't even spoken to her. Meeting her is out of the question until she chooses to reply rather than ignore the communication you choose to send or not send.

[Pesto]

bullshit. If you don't do any research on someone you're considering meeting, you're insane.

[nippletwister]

Yeah, Daoist doesn't understand dating.

[DunMiff/sys]

bullshit. If you don't do any research on someone you're considering meeting, you're insane.

creeeeeepers

[Pesto]

Typing a person's name into google doesn't make you a creepy stalker, but not doing it doesn't make you insane.

[daoist]

Messaged an interesting lady on okcupid yesterday. Turns out she reads strangetalk. And that isn't a plus. Didn't say what her name is on here though.

So, hi, lady who is accurately described as only 40% probability of being a friend.

[TeleportThis]

Link her profile so we can figure out who it is.

[daoist]

I think that'd be a bit too much. If she wants to out herself that's cool. I like to know who my fans are.

[WrenchHead]

It was me sporting my new vagyna.

[daoist]

that's a shame, you seemed pretty interesting and pretty too.

[Santa]

Messaged an interesting lady on okcupid yesterday. Turns out she reads strangetalk. And that isn't a plus. Didn't say what her name is on here though.

So, hi, lady who is accurately described as only 40% probability of being a friend.

If she was cool, she'd post the message you sent her.

[MarcusAurelius]

that is just, so... yeah. that's about right.

[DunMiff/sys]

guess we'll see a new daoist specific thread again in about five days.

[daoist]

Hey guys!

Shit nevermind. That was fast.

[Talenos]

omg deets!

[daoist]

Eh went on a date with a lady. Turns out she's not available. How in the hell do I attract all of the unavailable women?

[Robert Paulson]

They probably become "unavailable" about 10 minutes into your date.

[daoist]

yeah yeah, whatever.

[Robert Paulson]

people don't go on dates if they are unavailable, they become "unavailable" if they are on a shitty date.

[Talenos]

Or perhaps, only one party thought it was a date and the other party thought they were just hanging out.

[Pesto]

Unpossible!

[jen]

people don't go on dates if they are unavailable, they become "unavailable" if they are on a shitty date.

Not true. Some girls will do anything to get attention, even if it means going out on "dates" when they are unavailable. I'm sure the girl will claim she was just testing her feelings for her boytoy or some shitty excuse like that.

[Robert Paulson]

ok, by date I meant looking for a mate, not simply leaving the house in the company of another person.

If they are just doing it for attention, I wouldn't call it a date, although daoist would have been fooled into thinking it was.

[daoist]

people don't go on dates if they are unavailable, they become "unavailable" if they are on a shitty date.

She thinks she's available. She isn't.

[Pesto]

Okay. That's cryptic. How is she not available? Does she have a fuck buddy or something?

[daoist]

She has an ex she's not over.

[Pesto]

So... available.

[daoist]

No, unavailable.

[Robert Paulson]

Being on the rebound is just as good as being available (for you).

[Pesto]

Unless she's still sleeping with the guy, she's available. She's just on the rebound.

That said, probably worth staying away from.

[daoist]

She's unavailable for a relationship. How hard is it to understand? She wanted to go on a date, and then is wishy washy about everything and still wants to hang out with and get back with her ex. That's unavailable. She thinks she wants to date other people (i.e. be available), but really doesn't. She wants to date her ex (i.e. be unavailable). The very notion of unavailability is a lack of desire to date other people.

[Pesto]

Available means not dating anyone. Someone who is single, but doesn't want to date is available, even if there's no one out there they want to be with.

[Robert Paulson]

She's unavailable for a relationship with me. How hard is it to understand? She wanted to go on a date, and then is wishy washy about everything and doesn't want to date me. That's unavailable. She wants to date people (i.e. be available), just not me . The very notion of unavailability is a lack of desire to date me.

fixed.

[Turbo]

is "mentally unavailable" a better description?

[daoist]

Available means not dating anyone. Someone who is single, but doesn't want to date is available, even if there's no one out there they want to be with.

Available means available to date. Not all people who are single are available to date, and not all people who are seeing someone are not available to date. Available is not merely a synonym for single.

[Pesto]

AFAIC, it is. I'm not into polyamory, and I'm assuming you aren't either. If the person is single, then they're available, even if they don't want to date me. If the person is seeing someone else, they are not available to me.

[Talenos]

Yeah, I think she'd be available to the right person, not that it says anything bad about you, but you're just not the guy she needs right now.

[DTower5]

Shit, I think the king of semantics has this one correct.

[daoist]

AFAIC, it is. I'm not into polyamory, and I'm assuming you aren't either. If the person is single, then they're available, even if they don't want to date me. If the person is seeing someone else, they are not available to me.

How is someone who is single and wants to date a specific person distinguished from a person who's seeing a specific person and wants to see that person from an availability perspective?

The truth tables for each scenario are the same.

Again, you can be single and unavailable just the same as you can be seeing someone and available.

My own feelings on polyamory / pining for an ex don't change how the english language works.

[daoist]

Or suppose you've had a few good dates with someone and want to go steady with them. And another person asks "Hey are you available? I'd like to take you out friday". Would you say yes or no? I think we'd all say no, you're not available. Sure you're single, but not available to date.

[Pesto]

AFAIC, it is. I'm not into polyamory, and I'm assuming you aren't either. If the person is single, then they're available, even if they don't want to date me. If the person is seeing someone else, they are not available to me.

How is someone who is single and wants to date a specific person distinguished from a person who's seeing a specific person and wants to see that person from an availability perspective?

One of them is in a relationship and the other isn't. The one not in a relationship is fair game, i.e. available.

[daoist]

And yet that person doesn't want to date anyone else. E.g. they are unavailable for dates. Unavailable.

[Pesto]

Or suppose you've had a few good dates with someone and want to go steady with them. And another person asks "Hey are you available? I'd like to take you out friday". Would you say yes or no? I think we'd all say no, you're not available. Sure you're single, but not available to date.

"Are you available?
"No, I'm seeing someone."

"Are you in a relationship?"
"No, I'm seeing someone."

[Pesto]

And yet that person doesn't want to date anyone else. E.g. they are unavailable for dates. Unavailable.

Yet, she went on a date with you...

[daoist]

Or suppose you've had a few good dates with someone and want to go steady with them. And another person asks "Hey are you available? I'd like to take you out friday". Would you say yes or no? I think we'd all say no, you're not available. Sure you're single, but not available to date.

"Are you available?
"No, I'm seeing someone."

"Are you in a relationship?"
"No, I'm seeing someone."

So you agree with me now?

[Pesto]

No. But I'm fine leaving it at that.

[daoist]

And yet that person doesn't want to date anyone else. E.g. they are unavailable for dates. Unavailable.

Yet, she went on a date with you...

The hypothetical isn't what happened to me. It's a hypothetical.