Strangetalk

by **nippletwister** » Feb 22 2009 07:00:03 pm

THW wrote:the safety with movies is I can enjoy most anything I watch. I'm picky with my music, so 9.5 out of 10 times I'll hate what you recommend or play for me.

Agreed.

The difference between recommending shows and movies and a mixtape is that in a mixtape chicks will encode messages (and will expect messages encoded). She'll respond totally differently to "Waste" by Phish than she will to "Wading in the Velvet Sea" by Phish.

edit: not a huge Phish fan, these are just songs I recall being given on mixtapes.

by **daoist** » Feb 22 2009 07:01:54 pm

Tom the Cat wrote:Because if she makes a suggestion and I don't follow it, there's little-to-no guilt trip associated with it. If she makes a CD and I don't listen to it, there's a fairly substantial guilt trip of 'I went to all the trouble to make this for you and you won't even listen to it?!'

Well there's still a guilt trip of not following suggestions. Instead of "I went to all the trouble" instead it's "What, so you don't give a shit about my opinions?"

Although I will agree that a mix tape has the air of homework. Screw that.

by **themadninja** » Feb 22 2009 07:29:23 pm

Mix tapes are usually meant to be an expression of affection. Of course there's an expectation that you're going to listen to it, just like with anything else your girlfriend takes time to do for you. This whole "homework? screw that" attitude is basically like coming home to find she's spent hours making you dinner and saying, "Wow, thanks honey, that looks nice, but I don't really have time to sit down and eat a fancy meal. How about you come blow me while I watch football and eat pizza instead?"

Not that I wouldn't mercilessly ridicule any girl over 19 who took the time to make a mix tape, but I've found that habit usually goes away on its own. Unless your dating habits are significantly different than I'm assuming... :suspiciou

by **WrenchHead** » Feb 22 2009 07:33:12 pm

After your first fight, you can kiss your mix tapes goodbye.

The good part is that with mininova and piratebay, you can whip out a mixtape in like 10 minutes if you feel the need to reciprocate. Gone are the days of pouring over your cassette singles to get a whole 90 minute TDK full of Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison, and Finally Found the Love of a Lifetime by Firehouse.

by **nippletwister** » Feb 22 2009 07:48:45 pm

WrenchHead wrote:After your first fight, you can kiss your mix tapes goodbye.

The good part is that with mininova and piratebay, you can whip out a mixtape in like 10 minutes if you feel the need to reciprocate. Gone are the days of pouring over your cassette singles to get a whole 90 minute TDK full of Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison, and Finally Found the Love of a Lifetime by Firehouse.

This is why mixtapes are 100% better than mix CD's. With CD's, you can just throw together a random assortment of tunes from your library. With a tape, you have to wait for every song to play all the way through and then hit the pause button while you queue up the next track. And your mood can really progress as you go through it, making each song react to the previous.

Ah, alas. The mixtape is dead.

by **Tom the Cat** » Feb 22 2009 07:57:01 pm

themadninja wrote:This whole "homework? screw that" attitude is basically like coming home to find she's spent hours making you dinner and saying, "Wow, thanks honey, that looks nice, but I don't really have time to sit down and eat a fancy meal. How about you come blow me while I watch football and eat pizza instead?"

It's more like if you've just had dinner and then your girlfriend starts making you another 7-course meal.

If I'm not hungry, I'm sorry, but I don't want food. I appreciate that you put a bunch of time into making it for me, but maybe next time you should ask me before you turn on the oven.

by **Pesto** » Feb 23 2009 11:53:08 am

To be fair, I do say in my profile that I listen to too much classical music and am trying to branch out.

by **fiveSD** » Feb 24 2009 12:19:01 pm

I still get some mix CDs, but always from my female friends. They draw all over them too. I wonder if they're trying to tell me something...

by **Pluto** » Feb 24 2009 12:56:07 pm

i give mix cds as birthday presents usually.

by **DunMiff/sys** » Feb 24 2009 07:15:12 pm

Pluto wrote:i give mix cds as birthday presents usually.

man, this thread must have been devastating, TMNT2 fanboy.

by **Pesto** » Feb 27 2009 12:09:41 pm

How do you know a girl likes you?

Well, I'm so excited for tonight, I actually cannot sleep.

by **Cueman** » Apr 26 2009 06:08:37 pm

Can we get an update here? Are you married now, Pesto? Or have you at least pihb?

by **Pesto** » Apr 28 2009 01:30:31 am

Thumbs up and smooth sailing. We've only been seeing each other for a little over two months, so it's a little early for marriage talk.

by **Fuzzy** » Apr 28 2009 06:13:21 am

No it's not. Shit or get off the pot.

by **Charlie Foxtrot** » Apr 28 2009 07:28:04 am

Haha fzzuy, you and my dad are the only two who can say that and sound completely elegant about it.

by **Pesto** » May 15 2009 06:07:20 pm

I can officially state, this is the longest relationship I've ever been in.

by **Epaminondas** » May 16 2009 03:16:28 pm

it's a trap

by **Hi, I'm High Maintenance** » May 16 2009 10:03:30 pm

Epaminondas wrote:it's a trap

all relationships are traps. some of them you just don't mind as much

by **Charlie Foxtrot** » May 16 2009 10:17:56 pm

I disagree with that assertion.

by **DunMiff/sys** » May 16 2009 11:14:25 pm

Charlie Foxtrot wrote:Haha fzzuy, you and my dad are the only two who can say that and sound completely elegant about it.

listen to it with a slight central swedish accent. they can make anything sound elegant.

by **nippletwister** » May 16 2009 11:56:41 pm

Hi, I'm High Maintenance wrote:
Epaminondas wrote:it's a trap

all relationships are traps. some of them you just don't mind as much

get on the trolley

by **Hi, I'm High Maintenance** » May 17 2009 11:57:56 am

nippletwister wrote:
Hi, I'm High Maintenance wrote:
Epaminondas wrote:it's a trap

all relationships are traps. some of them you just don't mind as much

get on the trolley

i don't follow you

by **Tom the Cat** » May 17 2009 12:05:16 pm

by **Pesto** » Oct 02 2009 02:54:41 am

Okay, so that was officially the longest relationship I've ever been in.

It was more painful than I expected, but I broke up with my girlfriend tonight. I've had two beers and about half a bottle of wine.

Maybe I'll post more tomorrow when I'm more lucid.

P.S. it took me about ten minutes to write this post sot that itieididnt' ,ooc lke htis.

by **Mr. Bloodthirsty** » Oct 02 2009 09:28:31 am

Reason why you broke it off?

by **Pesto** » Oct 02 2009 11:48:03 am

Basically, the two of us were competing for time with me.

She was always around, and that would make me all cranky. I'd eventually get a night off, and things would be peachy again, but that stopped working after a while, and I ended up in a perpetual state of crankiness.

by **Tom the Cat** » Oct 02 2009 04:50:15 pm

Man, that's like the story of me and my last serious lady to a T.

by **Charlie Foxtrot** » Oct 02 2009 05:39:52 pm

That's like me and every girlfriend ever. That's why I live 1200 miles away now.

by **Talenos** » Oct 02 2009 05:49:09 pm

That's the story of every man and every girlfriend ever.

by **Charlie Foxtrot** » Oct 02 2009 05:51:02 pm

Except yours followed you.

by **nippletwister** » Oct 02 2009 06:13:35 pm

I'm a fuller person when my lady is around.

Then again, she works a lot of nights, so I get a lot of time off.

by **Fuzzy** » Oct 02 2009 06:26:03 pm

you should have a kid, fag

by **nippletwister** » Oct 02 2009 06:26:42 pm

No way dude.

by **Talenos** » Oct 02 2009 06:37:15 pm

Fuzzy wrote:you should have a kid, fag

In the biblical sense? :biguhh:

by **WrenchHead** » Oct 02 2009 07:10:17 pm

nippletwister wrote:I'm a fuller person when my lady is around.

Me too. She just brought me some qdoba.

Pesto, is this the girl that cried when riding a bike and it was like a big major event?

It's probably for the better for both of you.

by **Pesto** » Oct 02 2009 07:16:32 pm

Yep. She's a very nice person, but just not for me.

by **nippletwister** » Oct 02 2009 07:48:34 pm

WrenchHead wrote:
nippletwister wrote:I'm a fuller person when my lady is around.

Me too. She just brought me some qdoba.

by **PaulMuaDib** » Oct 02 2009 11:38:13 pm

kinky

by **Pesto** » Oct 03 2009 02:42:27 am

Talked to the folks on the phone and told them the news. They've met her, so we were able to discuss things. This was the first time I've really expressed some of the problems I had with the relationship, and I think it really helped me get over her. I can think about the breakup with out getting choked up. We'll see what happens when she comes over to get her stuff.

In other news, I went on OkCupid to change my status and reset my answers. I'm sure a lot of my answers will have changed as a result of this relationship, so I want to start from scratch. I don't want to start dating any time soon, but I'd like to get a bunch of questions answered, so when I do want to start dating, I can go ahead and do it immediately.

I clicked on the list of matches, and who do I see at the top of the list? This really hot chick that I know from Chicago. She's living in Oakland now. We're totally wrong for one another in terms of a relationship, but she's still really cool and a lot of fun. And hot. Did I mention hot? I think I'll give her a call.

by **WrenchHead** » Oct 03 2009 09:19:28 am

Looks first. Scientists claim opposites pair well anyway.

Reading back, this was either doom or marriage from the beginning with not much middle ground. You weren't bowled over from the get-go and she was most likely looking for something to dig her tendrils into and suck the life out of.

Cliff Notes Version of your relationship as we all saw it play out:

Pesto wrote:It was great to meet someone as dorky as me. There's a board game group that gets together every other Sunday. I'm going to ask if she wants to go to that. Also, not a SIF. She's certainly no pole vault girl, but I wouldn't call her fat.

Pesto wrote:We're going to go play board games tomorrow, and she wants to make me a mix CD.
Something's not right here. Everything is going too smoothly.

Pesto wrote:To be fair, I do say in my profile that I listen to too much classical music and am trying to branch out.

Pesto wrote:How do you know a girl likes you?
Pesto's future main squeeze wrote:Well, I'm so excited for tonight, I actually cannot sleep.

Pesto wrote:Thumbs up and smooth sailing. We've only been seeing each other for a little over two months, so it's a little early for marriage talk.

Somewhere between here you posted about having some major drama over a simple event, riding bikes.

Pesto wrote:I can officially state, this is the longest relationship I've ever been in.

Pesto wrote:Okay, so that was officially the longest relationship I've ever been in.
It was more painful than I expected, but I broke up with my girlfriend tonight. I've had two beers and about half a bottle of wine.
Maybe I'll post more tomorrow when I'm more lucid.
P.S. it took me about ten minutes to write this post sot that itieididnt' ,ooc lke htis.

My only commentary, which probably isn't welcome is that if you don't fall in love the moment you lock eyes, it's probably going to take a lot of work or a traumatic experience for the both of you to get into deep love.

If you don't really have to win the girl over and she just gets all flattered that you asked her out it obviously feels good, but you might be catching a bluegill rather than a bass. Usually it takes some convincing to get yourself to the top of the list of guys that a woman is going to lose sleep over. That or you're all athletic and naturally handsome.

Smooth sailing is great, however sometimes deep rutting feels the same as smooth sailing and once you've dug a track, habits of convenience are formed and they're really hard to change. I'm a professional in this area of life if you need a real life flaming pile of 'example.' It's the relationship cholesterol that either suffocates people to the point of breaking off a relationship, or conversely allows two people to grow fat and ugly together with surrounded by cats and Hummel figurines.

And now after the breakup, there's like a 85% chance you'll get back together with her since you're over 18 years of age. And now is the time you can sit down and figure out if it's worth changing yourself and trying to get her to change in order to get along and comingle. I don't think there's another adult human that could put up with my crap if they weren't willing to change a bit. Right now you're doing all that rebellious stuff like changing your status everywhere to single and hoping to meet some firecrotch rebound girl, but it's like the least healthy or long-term solution to your delima, in my opinion.

You're X number of years old and not getting any younger. Do you feel like you have it in you to change to make it work out with this girl? Do you feel that SHE can change enough to make it work out with you? If you couldn't make it work out with this girl, there's probably a tiny percentage of women roaming the planet that it ever WILL work out with. The trick is finding one you like enough that you're willing to cash in your testes at the starting line and become the doormat of. Not that you have to, mind you. Just someone that wins you over enough that you're willing to. It'll make life a lot easier if there's just a natural connection rather than a lucid feeling of settling for someone between 'SIF' and pole vaulter.

If the right girl walks up and wins you over, she could be 240 pounds and you wouldn't give a rat's ass. Her chick musk would have you all hypnotized and willing to give her all of your time. You mentioned this girl sucking up all of your time. In an ideal relationship, you should desire to be around her most of the time. Not all of the time, but most of the time.

^All my opinion. Don't sell yourself short, but don't be inflexible either.

by **Pesto** » Oct 03 2009 02:17:27 pm

The trick is finding one you like enough that you're willing to cash in your testes at the starting line and become the doormat of.

by **WrenchHead** » Oct 03 2009 02:27:59 pm

It works a lot better, trust me.

by **Pesto** » Oct 03 2009 02:29:55 pm

Thanks, but Larry King probably gives better relationship advice.

by **WrenchHead** » Oct 03 2009 02:31:01 pm

It's more polite to just say thank you after someone posts a bunch of shit.

But suit yourself.

by **DunMiff/sys** » Oct 03 2009 07:46:31 pm

Pesto wrote:Thanks, but Larry King probably gives better relationship advice.

whoa, really? you're dismissing his advice? this after you go on a tirade about a fucking bicycle -- she gave it a shot after you shoved her into it -- and then you break up some months later and a night after that you go on okcupid to change your status? how old are you, 16?

by **WrenchHead** » Oct 03 2009 07:56:47 pm

To be fair, Larry King has made it to marriage eight times so far. I've only been able to pull it off once.

by **PaulMuaDib** » Oct 04 2009 09:59:08 am

i gotta say the only thing i disagree with in WH's big post is the changing yourself significantly. fuck that noise. there's a difference between growing as a couple and letting new experiences slightly change you and actively changing yourself for a woman. like michael bolton in office space, "why should i change, he's the one who sucks." if you really like beer and shooting guns, a woman who doesn't like you doing that probably is for you.

by **Pesto** » Oct 04 2009 10:44:43 am

Plus his assumptions about me and this relationship are completely off base.

by **WrenchHead** » Oct 04 2009 11:44:23 am

All I'm saying is the most successful couples in the ~30 age range live their life based on compromised values. People like me fight constantly and anger everyone around me because "we're not changing"

My assumptions about pesto's relationship are based off of the three paragraphs of text he provide in a 7 month timespan. He probably left out all sort of lurid details that ST would undoubtedly use to shred him to his core.

by **Pesto** » Oct 04 2009 12:02:34 pm

WrenchHead wrote:All I'm saying is the most successful couples in the ~30 age range live their life based on compromised values. People like me fight constantly and anger everyone around me because "we're not changing"

Those two sentences make no sense together.

My assumptions about pesto's relationship are based off of the three paragraphs of text he provide in a 7 month timespan. He probably left out all sort of lurid details

Yep, which is why nothing you said applies.

by **WrenchHead** » Oct 04 2009 03:39:11 pm

Pesto wrote:
WrenchHead wrote:All I'm saying is the most successful couples in the ~30 age range live their life based on compromised values. People like me fight constantly and anger everyone around me because "we're not changing"

Those two sentences make no sense together.

Yes they do. I am the worst mate in the history of mates.

by **Mr. Bloodthirsty** » Oct 04 2009 05:30:36 pm

Pesto wrote:Something's not right here. Everything is going too smoothly.

This is a very very bad sign for you.

by **Pesto** » Oct 04 2009 05:35:47 pm

I was being sarcastic. Along the lines of, "Hey, this girl likes me. There must be something wrong with her."

by **Alice Ayers** » Oct 04 2009 06:51:52 pm

Pesto wrote:Basically, the two of us were competing for time with me.

She was always around, and that would make me all cranky. I'd eventually get a night off, and things would be peachy again, but that stopped working after a while, and I ended up in a perpetual state of crankiness.

well, hey, good luck on the rebound. Hope things go ok for you.

Are you an introvert? Dan found this thing about introverts and how different they are. I found it funny, since I was constantly asking him if he was ok until I just got used to it. I think some of the descriptions of introverts are a bit extreme, but perhaps some who haven't seen this will find some similarities.

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

by **Pesto** » Oct 04 2009 07:05:40 pm

Alice Ayers wrote:Are you an introvert?

Yes.

by **fiveSD** » Oct 05 2009 03:10:22 pm

I know what you mean in the "competing for time" arena. Fortunately I'm a female who also likes to have some alone time (at least now; didn't used to be that way). I will admit we are difficult to find.

by **servotron** » Oct 06 2009 09:41:19 am

Pesto, you should definitely make it known that you appreciate solitary time mixed in with time spent with the lady. No need to sugar coat it or make it sound worse than it is, just matter-of-fact.

FWIW, I think practically all of Wrenchhead's advice has been solid gold, but your mileage may vary, we're not all the same.

by **Pesto** » Oct 06 2009 09:54:36 am

servotron wrote:Pesto, you should definitely make it known that you appreciate solitary time mixed in with time spent with the lady. No need to sugar coat it or make it sound worse than it is, just matter-of-fact.

Yeah, I realize that, but I also know that would have never worked with my ex. There were other things besides that, too.

by **Pesto** » Oct 06 2009 01:09:30 pm

Haven't heard from the ex yet about picking up her stuff from my place. If I don't hear from her by Halloween I'll give her a call.

by **fiveSD** » Oct 06 2009 02:24:01 pm

How much of her stuff is at your place? Anything cool?

by **Pesto** » Oct 06 2009 02:30:28 pm

Some clothing, toiletries, a card game, a tin. Maybe some other odds and ends.

by **Hi, I'm High Maintenance** » Oct 07 2009 01:38:20 am

Pesto wrote:
servotron wrote:Pesto, you should definitely make it known that you appreciate solitary time mixed in with time spent with the lady. No need to sugar coat it or make it sound worse than it is, just matter-of-fact.

Yeah, I realize that, but I also know that would have never worked with my ex. There were other things besides that, too.

How dyou know since you never tried to tell her?

by **Hi, I'm High Maintenance** » Oct 07 2009 01:43:33 am

WrenchHead wrote:
My only commentary, which probably isn't welcome is that if you don't fall in love the moment you lock eyes, it's probably going to take a lot of work or a traumatic experience for the both of you to get into deep love.

I've heard this opinion expressed before and it worries me. Probably because i've never been a believer in the whole "love at first sight" thing and therefore find the idea of starting and building a relationship based on that kind of scary. So apparently at the ripe age of 24 I have either a lot of work or (more) traumatic experiences to look forward to if I ever want to have a long term relationship and/or marriage. Shit.

by **WrenchHead** » Oct 07 2009 08:34:59 am

It's more for guys. Men are visually motivated. The kind of men that visually motivate women are usually douchebags.

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