settling

[Dr. Faustus]

The last two girls I took out, I took them both to damn good restaurants and even footed the bill. I was temping during both of them, so it wasn't like I was loaded. One never called me back, but we had nothing in common other than coming from rural areas into the city. The second, well on paper that should have worked, but she pulled some bullshit about how "She wasn't the girl I was looking for" and that's about the only explanation she gave. I'm not going to lie, I even tried to persuade her to reconsider, but after a few emails I just told her I was sick of trying to convince her and that was game over.

There have been others since then, maybe the craziest story to date...but I just wanted to throw them out there.

[Turbo]

I didn't mind because I prefer driving on dates because the car helps.

(02:45:06 AM) Honestly BK was a joke, and with all the money you have u could have treated me better.

hey, the car does work!

[daoist]

Conversation with This girl at Mon 15 Sep 2008 08:54:03 PM CDT on babystomper34 (aim)
(08:54:03 PM) This girl: LOL next time dont be such a lame asshole
(08:54:39 PM) babystomper34: There won't be a next time. Stop contacting me. I told you I wasn't interested.

[LucasPukus]

It's always amusing when both people sling out the "I'm way too good for you" lines.

[daoist]

Hahahahahahaha. Keith, I'm studying for a Cardiology test so I'm trying to stay off of here, but Kyle was telling me all about this. I got all snippy and was going to respond as such...and then I read the IM's. Sweet Jesus, what a crazy bitch.

Hey what's your sister up to these days?

[alex]

uh oh.. helga wants another double whopper and cheesy tots.

[TheLastUnicorn]

Hahahahahahaha. Keith, I'm studying for a Cardiology test so I'm trying to stay off of here, but Kyle was telling me all about this. I got all snippy and was going to respond as such...and then I read the IM's. Sweet Jesus, what a crazy bitch.

Hey what's your sister up to these days?

Dating a really nice guy for a change, as a matter of fact.

[daoist]

edit: Okay, so what are you up to these days? Kyle getting on your nerves yet?

edit2: Just sayin.

[TheLastUnicorn]

Don't give up. She said her relationships never make it through October.

[daoist]

(06:43:27 PM) This girl: u are probly the least humble of anyone...just so u can fix ur profile....bragging about EVERYTHING

By the way, if you haven't seen my profile, here it is:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/daoist

She's referencing the first line.

She wasn't that smart; she didn't get my jokes.

[Dragmire]

edit: Okay, so what are you up to these days? Kyle getting on your nerves yet?

[daoist]

edit: Okay, so what are you up to these days? Kyle getting on your nerves yet?

[Hi, I'm High Maintenance]

geez keith...with all that money you have...

[nippletwister]

Here's your problem, right here:

country, alternative, christian, rock, easylistening, pop, r&b, some rap, and other types of music

[Charlie Foxtrot]

This so reminds me of Tina.

[servotron]

Wow Dao... time to change your screen name this chick is fuckin banana sandwiches.

[parsnips]

Entertainment. In it's purest form.

[LucasPukus]

The cardinal rule of driving a girl mad is to ignore her. If you say you'll call her when you get back, call her. If you think she's a fatty bimbo, shoot her an email that says "sorry, I'm not interested." Don't wait for the 3000 I'm pyscho message and then tell her what's up.

[DunMiff/sys]

The cardinal rule of driving a girl mad is to ignore her. If you say you'll call her when you get back, call her. If you think she's a fatty bimbo, shoot her an email that says "sorry, I'm not interested." Don't wait for the 3000 I'm pyscho message and then tell her what's up.

seems like a pretty way to figure out real quicklike if a girl's crazy or not. or merely hungry.

[daoist]

Nice victim blaming. I didn't do anything wrong to this girl. She just flipped out right the hell away.

[John Ford]

she should be OK. she's talking to a few guys around here trying to figure out which one she wants to date. she's already got the engagement ring picked out.

[fiveSD]

this thread provoked me to check my okcupid account. i come back to this message, "still think your awesome"??? sigh

[daoist]

That's just ridiculousness.

[LucasPukus]

Well, there's the part where you told her you'd call her when you got back to Ames. Did you call her when you got back?

Why do people say things they don't mean?

Why do I even bother entering this argument? Because I'm sick of listening to my friend bitch when it happens to her. Fighting back for other women that don't get calls when they expect them? Who knows. Because I'm a glutton for stupid debates?

[daoist]

It was fucking late when I got back to ames.

Where did I say I'd call?

Her response does not scale proportionally.

[fiveSD]

what is up with all my guy friends finding crazy women lately?

wait a second...

[daoist]

finding? Finding?

Bitch, I didn't find anything.

[jen]

She is a crazy bitch, but you did lie to her instead of telling her you weren't interested right away. I've pulled the same shit in the past but I wasn't shocked when I got the crazy/angry IMs, e-mails and voicemails.
You make it quite clear that you are aware she is not the brightest crayon in the box. I think it is a good assumption that you needed to spell things out for her.

[THW]

well, apparently here's how chicks attempt to start conversation with me, even though my profile states I'm in a relationship:

Ok, this mite sound gay. but my dog had puppys like a week ago and I just went to hold them and they have fleas so I gave them a flea bath and dident read the stupid bottle and it says that you cant use on dogs smaller then 6 weeks OMG you think they will die... sorry to ask you this but checked out your profile and rembered you was a animal guy and the vet in my area is closed....

[Supplier]

hahahaha

[fiveSD]

finding? Finding?

Bitch, I didn't find anything.

ok, I used that word too loosely. how about "going on dates with"? Better?

[John Ford]

going to burger king with

[fiveSD]

consume cheesy tots with

[TheLastUnicorn]

well, apparently here's how chicks attempt to start conversation with me, even though my profile states I'm in a relationship:

Ok, this mite sound gay. but my dog had puppys like a week ago and I just went to hold them and they have fleas so I gave them a flea bath and dident read the stupid bottle and it says that you cant use on dogs smaller then 6 weeks OMG you think they will die... sorry to ask you this but checked out your profile and rembered you was a animal guy and the vet in my area is closed....

That girl's a winner. I can't wait to deal with clients this damn stupid. You should write back and tell her she killed her puppies and should probably DIAF.

[Talenos]

will it kill teh puppehs?

[TheLastUnicorn]

will it kill teh puppehs?

They'll probably be fine. Side effects would depend on the product used. If she went to Wal-Mart and bought Hartz, though, she's really taking her chances. I hate that damn brand. And honestly, a flea shampoo is not the best product for efficacy anyway.

[steps off soapbox]

I still say Lizer should tell her she's an idiot but judging by her spelling and grammar she would probably think he's hitting on her.

[THW]

I responded already and it was a boring, non-colorful answer. Sorry. But for those of you who actually know me you know I'm far from a dick in real life.

I don't really know. I highly doubt they will die, but I'd see what the active ingredient is and then do some quick research on the internet. It is probably just harsh on their skin which is sensitive while they're still so young

Note I said young. They're YOUNGER than six weeks. They're not smaller than six weeks.

[Charlie Foxtrot]

six weeks is a pretty big time depending on the context. Like "no sex for..."

[Epaminondas]

1) Aren't you supposed to marry up? And don't settle, it's not worth it, especially if you settle for a dumb one

2)Pretty much all clients are that stupid. Either that or they read some shit on the internet about some disease and think they know everything.

[Charlie Foxtrot]

I just listen to what you tell me instead. Much easier than trying to spell the disease in google.

[THW]

Her puppies didn't die! Wonderfull!!! I gave good advice her puppies! THEN WHY IS SHE YELLING AT ME!!??!?!

HEY YOU, THANKS FOR THE ADVICE MY PUPPIES. THEY DIDENT DIE. YOU SEEM TO BE A PRETTY DOWN TO EARTH NICE PERSON. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHATT GET BACK TO ME K... LATERZ

no thanks...

[PaulMuaDib]

nevermind the caps, she's just super excited. my favorite part of that is "dident"

[Talenos]

Her puppies didn't die! Wonderfull!!! I gave good advice her puppies! THEN WHY IS SHE YELLING AT ME!!??!?!

HEY YOU, THANKS FOR THE ADVICE MY PUPPIES. THEY DIDENT DIE. YOU SEEM TO BE A PRETTY DOWN TO EARTH NICE PERSON. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHATT GET BACK TO ME K... LATERZ

no thanks...

Do you advice my kitties too?

[THW]

you mean ur kittehs?

[Tom the Cat]

So I discovered this thread a few weeks ago. Consider my surprise when I saw that the woman in question--the cheesy tots gal--was the same woman I'd had a horrible date (and subsequent weeks of IM/text/phone harassment) with.

I was going to post most of my chat logs with her, but it seems that this all happened before I got my new computer this summer, so all I have is the odd one she sent me months after the fact.

It all went down like this: I have a profile on OkCupid, but don't use the site much. If someone messages me, I respond to them and try to get them on AIM or something, but otherwise I check it very rarely.

Well, this chick messaged me. I had just broken up with my girlfriend of six months not long before, and I was contemplating the same 'settling' issues daoist started this thread about. She didn't seem too bright, and she wasn't terribly attractive, but she was interested and seemed harmless. Whatever, right? I set up a date.

I'm a big first date person. I like planning fun or interesting things. My last serious girlfriend and I did dinner, went stargazing at Ledges State Park, and got some ice cream afterwards. The last first date I did, we went and did a picnic at a drive-in theatre. At any rate, I try to pick things other than dinner and a movie.

I make a few suggestions, and she shoots them down. I ask her what she'd like to do, and she says, "dinner and a movie." Great.

So where for dinner? I'm thinking someplace nice but not expensive, with food I like. She shoots down a few and then suggests Applebee's. (One of my least favorite restaurants; too expensive for bland food.) Well, whatever.

It's been over half a year since the date, so I really can't remember much, but I believe she ordered an appetizer of cheese sticks right off the bat. She wolfs those down while offering me a few, which I politely decline. We place our dinner orders, and I try to strike conversation. I can think of practically nothing I want to know about this girl, so I just ask her general questions. All roads lead to her work: Wal-mart.

For the entirety of dinner, I'm treated to how much she likes working at Wal-mart and how she plays on their softball league and how she got transferred to a new department which is cool but maybe not and... Well, anyway, I was sick of the date before our meals even arrived.

We eat, and then head over to the Movies 12. I almost called the date off before the movie, but it turns out that I'm a pussy and didn't want to hurt her feelings. In hindsight, I should've.

She picks out Forgetting Sarah Marshall for our viewing pleasure. To be honest, it was a pretty good movie. That is, until she started groping me partway through. See, she insisted that we sit at the back. I spent an uncomfortable hour trying to get her to stop rubbing my crotch through my jeans.

The movie mercifully ends, and we head back to my car. She invites herself over to my place, which I decline, saying I'm pretty tired and think I should just take her home. She asks if I'd like to see her again. I tell her I don't think we should. She proceeds to clam up and stonewall me the entire ride home.

Uncomfortable, but at least it's over. We're grown-ups, right? We can put a bad date behind us and move on with our lives.

I get home, hop on my computer, and not five minutes later, get an IM from this chick. She's mad at me, she says she never drinks but she just chugged three wine coolers because she's so upset. She thinks I treated her like a whore. I point out that if I wanted to treat her like a whore, I would've accepted her wildly overt advances and then stopped talking to her.

This devolves into days and weeks of her IMing or texting me, sometimes faux-friendly and cheerful, other times angry and spiteful, trying to insult me any way possible. I try to remain neutral, and start telling her to not contact me.

Months after the fact, with a few sparse IMs or texts between, which I ignored, I get an IM from a screenname I don't recognize.

[08/27 - 22:34] Her: hey sexy
[08/27 - 22:41] Me: I don't recognize this SN. Do I know you?
[08/27 - 22:41] Her: yep
[08/27 - 22:42] Me: ...well?
[08/27 - 22:42] Her: im pretty but u still hold a grudge
[08/27 - 22:49] Her: hello
[08/27 - 22:49] Me: yes?
[08/27 - 22:49] Her: u werent talking
[08/27 - 22:50] Me: that's because I'm not in the mood to play games
[08/27 - 22:50] Her: im not playing
[08/27 - 22:53] Her: ur name is [my name] right
[08/27 - 22:54] Me: Why do you care?
[08/27 - 22:54] Her: cuz ur a cool person
[08/27 - 22:54] Her: [my username] :-)
[08/27 - 22:55] Her: 25 yrs old
[08/27 - 22:56] Her: tall
[08/27 - 22:56] Her: u hug like a teddy bear
[08/27 - 22:57] Her: hello
[08/27 - 22:57] Her: [my name]
[08/27 - 22:57] Me: What is this? I don't get you. You like to berate me and try to make fun of me or make me feel bad, and yet you can't seem to just let go. Do you do this with everyone you know, or am I just somehow 'special'?
[08/27 - 23:01] Her: nope ur special alright
[08/27 - 23:01] Her: and im sorry...i wasnt thinking
[08/27 - 23:12] Her: woops
[08/27 - 23:12] Her: lol
[08/27 - 23:16] Her: welp have a good nite
[08/27 - 23:17] Me: alright, you too.

Thankfully, since then she's left me alone. I've gotten a couple calls from a 'RESTRICTED' number at 1 or 2am that I think were probably from her, right around the time of this conversation, but other than that, nothing.

I think daoist said it best:

A recent dating experience this weekend has taught me that my worries were silly. There's no way in hell I could ever settle to the point I had described. Ugh. No way.

[Epaminondas]

Oh my word.

[daoist]

Yes! Finally! Together we can work through this. The first step is refusing to be a victim and posting the story. Now the healing can begin.

[WrenchHead]

It's in Tom The Cat's best interest to just cut off communication with this person.. They eventually go away after some unsuspecting guy gets them pregnant finally.

Settling: It's like restoring an old car. You know what car you want. You find the best one you can afford and put 25 years of sweat and tears into it, hoping to beat it into submission. Most days it fights back and leaves you bloody and hopeless, but some day when you're old and senile enough to not give a shit anymore, you can enjoy a parade on a sunny day together.

[Epaminondas]

I might have taken her up on the back of the theatre offer

[WrenchHead]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.. given the long, painful dismissal, I'd have at least gone for the HJ.

[A Real Live Unicorn]

settling usually happens when a kid is involved.

[Talenos]

that's how you landed your hubby?

[MarcusAurelius]

probably should've settled